“Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its troubles… it empties today of its strength!”

~ Corrie Ten Boom

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Worrying Too Much?

Worrying is an interesting experience. Very few of us would say that it is especially helpful, and yet most of us find ourselves doing it a lot, or at least more than we would like. Why is this? I mean, it’s not like we choose to worry. In other words, very few of us would say: “Oooo, I’m looking forward to some really productive “worry” time tonight!” So, why do we continue to engage in an activity that we don’t see as helpful?

Is it that worry or concern has become a habitual way of life for many of us? Is it that many of us are afraid not to worry (in other words, we worry if we are not worrying) because we are afraid that it helps keep us prepared in some way? Is it that for many of us, worrying about those we love is our way of staying involved in their lives, as well as, a way of demonstrating that we care? Whatever the reason, I believe that this week’s quote does a nice job of reminding us of the effect that worry has in our lives. It (worry) doesn’t really “empty tomorrow of its troubles” but it can “empty today of its strength.”

What does this mean? Well, for me, it means that the experience of worrying is often an exhausting, debilitating one. One that not only doesn’t help us solve our future problems, but can sap our energy and impair our ability to function in the present. This impairment generally comes in the form of tension, headaches, distraction, confusion, increased potential to make mistakes, etc. In fact, worrying actually changes the chemical makeup of our body by triggering the fight-or-flight hormones of adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol (the “stress hormone”). While the release of these hormones every so often isn’t a problem, our tendency to worry a lot can overload our system with these hormones, and actually impair the functioning of our immune system. As the cartoon of a tombstone says: “90% of what killed me never happened!”

Now, I’m not trying to scare you (or worry you) about the effects of worry. I’m just wanting you to decide whether or not this activity is really working for you. If it is, then by all means, keep it up. Chances are you will receive very good feedback about how using worry as a way to deal with life is affecting you. If, however, you have determined that worrying isn’t working for you, I have some suggestions about what you might do instead.

First, let me say that this isn’t about stopping worrying, it’s about starting something else (otherwise you will just find yourself worrying about worrying). In order to find an alternative to worry, we must discover what we are wanting to accomplish. This will, of course, vary from individual to individual and from situation to situation, however, I think most people would agree that they worry in order to avoid being surprised, or taken off guard by some problematic person or situation. If this is the case, what I think we are really wanting is awareness for ourselves or those we love. We are wanting to have some contingency plan for dealing with life’s challenges, both now and in the future that helps us feel safe (or at least safer). How is this different from worry? Well, for one thing, it’s more about imagining solutions than problems. In other words, if awareness is our goal, then our thoughts would be something along the line of, “Okay, if _____ happens, then I will do _____,” knowing, of course, that we can only imagine what we might do, and that what we will actually do will depend on the situation when (and if) it happens.

The value of choosing awareness vs. worry as a way of life is that it is less likely to “empty today of its strength.” In other words, if we are willing to trust in our ability to plan versus worry to help us deal with the future, we will be freed to deal with “now” (the only time there is) in a much more effective manner. Really, it comes down to what is the energy (worry/fear vs. optimism/confidence) that we are going to use/trust to define who we are and what we do. I’m suggesting that we make this decision “on purpose”… in a way that is congruent with our highest purpose, and in a way that we would recommend to those we love.

Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill