What We Do For Love

I’m writing this the morning after having seen a wonderful production of “A Chorus Line” put on by the Department of Theater and Dance at Texas State University in San Marcos, Texas. The combination of these two are special because, (a) thanks to Kaitlin Hopkins, Director of the Musical Theater Department, her program at Texas State is one of the top ten in the country, which means that the talent that they can bring to a production like this is as good as you will see on Broadway, and (b) A Chorus Line is one of my favorite musicals.

The reason I love this musical so much is because of the psychology underlying its premise and its characters. Basically, it’s a story about what drives people to want to become performing artists, and what motivates them to persist against what others would see as overwhelming odds.

One of the songs that illustrates this beautifully is “What I Did For Love,” in which the members of the ensemble speak to (sing about) the value of using love as one’s motivation for life. While in the musical, this validation of love as a motivation is mostly about having no regrets, I believe that this concept can also be valuable for those of us who want to have more influence in our lives and the lives of others.

In other words, I feel it is important to examine the underlying energy behind our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors so that we can determine if this energy is congruent with the life we want to create. Unfortunately today, many people find themselves being motivated more by fear than love. They may fear failure, or being hurt or rejected, or not living up to others’ expectation, or they may fear that in some way they are just “not enough,” and as a result, find themselves living a life of worry and anxiety.

For those of you who follow my “Life from the Top of the Mind” philosophy, you know that fear, worry, anxiety, self-doubt, etc., come from the lower 20% of the brain or the brainstem… while confidence, clarity, creativity, compassion, etc., come from the upper 80% or the neocortex. This is important because it can help those of us wanting to have more influence in our lives become clear about what part of the brain we want to access in order to create the life we want.

The good news is that love is an energy that supports our living in the Top of the Mind, or accessing this clear, confident, creative brain. In fact, it is the basis of what I call “The 4 Criteria,” which are four neocortex questions we can always ask ourselves if we want to ensure that we are coming from this upper 80%

1. Was this thought, emotion, or behavior chosen on purpose?
2. Is it helping me create the life I want?
3. Is it making the statement I want to make about who I am?
4 Would I teach or recommend this way of thinking, feeling, and/or being to someone I love?

This last question is the most powerful, because it brings love in as a criteria for how we think, feel, and act. Frankly, I have yet to meet anyone that would teach someone they love (on purpose) to be angry, stressed, worried, or anxious.

Therefore, if we are willing to live our lives in a way in which love of who we are, what we do, who we do it for, and who we do it with, is our driving energy, chances are we will have few, if any, regrets. It doesn’t mean that we will never make a mistake, or that we will always achieve what we pursue. However, if love is the energy behind what we think, feel, and do, it will be the driving energy of our life, which allows even our mistakes (or mis/takes – actions that we take that miss) to be part of the creative process.

If this sounds like something you would like in your life and/or the life of your organization, family, school, church, etc., feel free to contact me. In doing so, you will be giving me an opportunity to what I love, which is sharing this information with as many people as possible and helping you create your life in a way that you would teach and/or recommend to someone you love.