“There’s a thread you follow. It goes among things that change, but it doesn’t change. While you hold it, you can’t get lost. Good things happen, bad things happen, and it is harder for others to see. Regardless, you never let go of the thread!”

~ Adapted from William Stafford

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This quote has just recently become part of many of my presentations, however, its impact has been so great that it is quickly becoming a major component in my philosophy as well. The reason I (and so many others) find so much value in this quote is that it seems to strike a chord in almost all who read it that immediately rings of truth and hope. The essence of this chord is that maybe the happiness and fulfillment we all seek is found not in changing the world around us (which is frequently impossible anyway), but, instead, rediscovering something deep within us that has never changed and will never change. The quote describes this “something” as a thread that runs through every aspect of our lives and gives us something to hold on to, regardless of what is happening around us.

I love the line “it goes among the things that change, but it doesn’t change.” What a wonderful and comforting thought to imagine that there could be something that we could hold onto throughout all of the changes and challenges of life. Something that is so powerful, omnipresent, and everlasting that it would forever be there for us as a guide and as a touchstone.

Now, the quote does say that following this thread may not be easy, for many people will not be able to see it, and thus question its validity. They may “wonder about what we are pursuing” and when we try to explain, they may or may not understand. However, regardless of whether others see the thread or not, “while we hold it we can’t get lost.”

This, of course, doesn’t mean that everything will always turn out the way we want. In fact, the quote says “Good things happen and bad things happen.” So, this isn’t about stopping the unfolding of time. It’s about being willing to trust that there is an unchanging essence (which is beyond the unfolding of time) which will be with us throughout eternity, and our only challenge is to first discover, and then hold on to this essence, or this thread.

What could this thread be? For me, it’s our willingness to define ourselves “on purpose” in response to everything and everyone we encounter, and in a way we would teach and/or recommend to those we love. In other words, rather than saying “Traffic makes me crazy,” or “Difficult people make me angry” (which gives them the power to define us), what if we choose who we want to be in response to these challenges, and then look for opportunities to weave this thread into our lives, or practice this purposeful self-definition as we deal with these challenging situations?

I like the concepts of “C-cubed,” or clarity, confidence, and creativity as the basis for this thread of self-definition, and then adding one more depending on the situation. For example, in traffic, it might be composure, with difficult people it could be curiosity or flexibility, with those we care for, it could be compassion.

Regardless of the choices you make, the key will be the fact that these decisions are made by choice, not by chance. Further, to the degree that you are willing to make this process of self-definition your “thread,” or “what goes among the things that change but it doesn’t change,” you will have created a constant that can become the foundation for all other decisions.

Just remember… you never let go of the thread!

Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill