The Second Essential For Creating The Life You Want

For those wanting to have more influence in their lives and the lives of others, I offer what I call “the second essential element for creating the life you want.” I call it “a place,” and that refers to two things. First, I like to use life as “a place” to practice, meaning rather than experiencing different situations in terms of how they make me feel, I like to turn the problem into the “practice field,” which means I use these situations as a place to practice how I want to be and who I want to be. I identify my highest purpose (the qualities and characteristics I want to bring to life, and ensure that I have a vision of how I will be feeling and acting as I go into each situation.

This has me going into life with a clear sense of purpose and identifying my highest purpose in a way that gives me the ultimate control and influence, because I’m not depending on any person or situation to be a certain way in order for me to bring my best to life.

The second meaning of the word “place” as it applies to this week’s quote and comment is the value of having a community, organization, family, group of friends, etc., that share your values and goals. I just finished speaking to the Musical Theater Dept. at the University of Oklahoma, and one of the things I stressed was the value of them taking what they found valuable from my presentation and using it to support each other. It is so much easier to practice this new way of being when you have people around you that are also practicing.

I have noticed this in the organizations I have spoken to in the past as well. When everyone has decided to shift to the upper 80% of the brain and become more purposeful with respect to the qualities and characteristics that they are bringing to the job (ones that they would recommend to those they love), then the combined efforts of everyone involved go a long way toward making the environment one in which purposeful choices can be made and sustained. This way, even when someone does find themselves reacting from the brainstem (anger, resentment, anxiety, stress, frustration, etc.) it is less likely that this will be fed or exasperated by those around them. In fact, many of the participants that I have worked with have created little signals or reminders that they can share with their coworkers when someone seems to be stuck in the brainstem.

Again this is great because rather than the job or situation being a place that triggers stress, it can now become a place that helps us remember who we really are, and how we really want to respond to life.

Therefore, if you would like to have more influence in your life and the lives of others, I suggest you turn the problem into the practice field and use life as “a place” to practice defining yourself in a way that you would recommend to those you love. In addition, if you don’t already have “a place” or a community of like-minded people to practice with, I suggest you form one. This could be a study group where you read my book, “Life from the Top of the Mind,” and discuss how to bring what you like to life, or simply a group of friends or family that share your desire to support each other in this process.

This “place,” combined with a clear purpose, will go a long way toward helping you get really good at this, really fast. Stay tuned for the third installment in what I call “the three essential elements for creating the life you want” coming next week. And, if you would like me to come to your school, organization, or even family and share this information in a way that everyone can join in the creative process, feel free to contact me at 832-722-6147 or drbill@billcphd.com.