The Neuroscience of Priorities

When I ask that question in my seminars, people say things like their family, their kids, their friends, their business, their dreams of the future, etc., and I get that. I have kids, a family, a business, friends, and dreams, and I know how making these things important can enrich our lives.

However, I’m going to suggest that as important as all these things are, they shouldn’t be the most important thing. Why? Because there are going to be times when things will happen with our kids, family, business, etc., that are out of our control. And, if these things are the most important in our lives, then this lack of control or influence will throw us into the reactive part of the brain, resulting in stress, frustrations, anxiety, and resentment.

So, what should be the most important thing in life? I suggest it be something that is within our control, and something that allows us to bring our best to life… something that results in our being the best parent, friend, relationship partner, and business person we can be.

For those who follow my “Life from the Top of the Mind” philosophy, you may remember me referring to this as our “Highest Purpose,” and it has to do with how we define who we are. You see, when we are reacting to life in less than purposeful ways, I think we have to ask ourself, “Are we defining who we are, or, are we being defined by the people and situations around us?” Because we say _______ makes me_______ (traffic drives me crazy, difficult people make me angry, etc.), what we are doing is giving the difficult people and situations in our life the power to define us. Not good.

I suggest, instead, that we define ourselves on purpose, from the purposeful, powerful part of the brain. And, further, I suggest we make this process of purposeful self-definition (choosing the qualities we want to bring to life in a way we would recommend to someone we love) our “Highest Purpose,” or the most important in our life, because in doing so, we automatically bring our best to our kids, our family, our relationships, our business, and everything else.