The Key to Being Trusted

This concept of being trusted was adapted from Susan Scott’s book, “Fierce Conversations,” and speaks to a concept of trust that is often overlooked… the idea of authenticity. Of course, we all want to be trusted, and few people would argue that being inauthentic is a good idea. However, it’s also true that many of us may have found ourselves telling others what we thought they wanted to hear in order to get their compliance.

While this is understandable, those who study trust suggest that just “faking it” is problematic, because when someone senses that we are not being genuine, they will very likely distrust what we are saying. Therefore, if authenticity is indeed a key to being trusted, how can we ensure we are being authentic in a way that inspires trust? First, we must become clear about the qualities and characteristics we authentically have that would inspire trust. Examples could be caring, open, supportive, curious, etc.

Next, we will want to take responsibility for bringing these to the conversation, regardless of how they respond. Of course, we also want to be influential, so this isn’t about “just being nice.” It’s about becoming aware that until someone feels that we understand them and are being genuine, they can’t trust us to come up with a solution that they will support.

If you would like to know the neuroscience behind how all of this works, I suggest that you contact me, because this is what I teach… how to engage others in such a way that they not only trust us, but shift from their resistant brain to their receptive brain so that they can clearly hear and understand what we are wanting them to know.