Procrastination

This week’s quote, video, and essay is focused on the topic of procrastination…something that we all have dealt with from time to time, and one of the most popular topics in my “Life from the Top of the Mind” seminars. The problem, as I see it, is that we are looking at something we are “supposed” to do, but really don’t like. And, because we don’t like it, we don’t do it or put it off. However, what often happens is that after a while, the problem of “not getting it done” becomes worse than our distaste for the task, which forces us to finally take action. Unfortunately, this has us cycling between resentment (for having to do something we don’t like) and fear or dread of what will happen if we don’t get it done.

Taxes are a great example of this. Few people begin the process of doing their taxes with a great deal of enthusiasm. In fact, the reason that there are long lines at the post office on the evening of April 15th is that people put off the task until the fear of not doing their taxes becomes greater than the distaste for the process of getting them done.

For those of you who follow my “Life from the Top of the Mind” philosophy, you know that both this dread and resentment come from the lower 20% of the brain, or the brainstem. Engaging this part of the brain is perfect when we are in a fight-or-flight situation, but a bad idea when we are wanting to be productive.

So, how can we deal with this topic differently? How can we get done what we want to get done but don’t really want to do? First, we need to realize how powerful beliefs and perspectives are in determining how we feel and what we accomplish. For example, if we hold on to the belief that we must do what we are supposed to, that will trigger resentment. However, if we look at it differently, we can access the clear, confident, creative part of the brain and make choices that not only serve us, but also define who we are in a way we would recommend to those we love.

How can this be applied to procrastination? Well, one way is to look at the task in terms of an agreement. For example, if what we are putting off is part of our job and we would have agreed to do it when we were being interviewed, then we do it, not because we like it, but because we are a person that keeps our agreements. In other words, if, when we interviewed for the job, someone had said, “Bill, this is going to be a great job, your going to be working with excellent colleagues, there is just one thing we need whoever takes this job to do. Nobody really likes to do it, but we need to know if you would agree to get it done on a regular basis.” If the answer to that question would have been, “yes,” then we choose to do the task now, not because we necessarily like it, but because we are a person of integrity, someone that can be counted on to keep their word.

The same thing applies if what we are avoiding is part of our relationship. If we would have agreed to do this at the beginning of the relationship, then we do it because we are someone that can be trusted to keep their word. You see, when we make the doing of the task a statement about who we are, the experience is different. We are no longer shifting between, avoidance, resentment, and dread, but instead are making purposeful choices that are congruent with our highest purpose (the qualities and characteristics we bring to life) and congruent with what we would teach and/or recommend to someone we love.

Of course, if you are being asked to do something you would NOT have agreed to at the beginning of the job or relationship, then I suggest you not do it. This may mean that you will need to renegotiate (or even leave) your job or relationship, but even that would be better than constantly cycling between resentment and dread, while things that are important in your life remain undone.

Other tactics for dealing with procrastination (breaking a large task down into smaller, more manageable steps, setting up rewards for completing a task, or even making progress toward a goal), are also great ideas. The key here is to make an active, purposeful choice to view and act upon the task in a way that defines who you are, and in a way you would recommend to someone you love, versus the passive choice of avoiding the task until the pain of avoidance becomes greater than your distaste for the job.