How To Respond Versus React

Here, I’m wanting to clarify the difference between reacting and responding so that we can be more purposeful in the future with respect to how we deal with life. The term “react” means quite literally to “act again,” or act in a way we have acted in the past. It also implies that we are reacting without thinking and, in a fight-or-flight situation, where we need to react in order to stay safe, that’s a great idea.

However, given that few, if any, of the situations we encounter today truly call for a fight-or-flight response, I suggest we become better at responding versus reacting. The concept of responding suggests a more purposeful choice in how we feel, think, and act because, at its core, it is about what we are “sponsoring.” Members of government sponsor legislation, meaning that they put it forth as something that they feel would be valuable to their constituents. Often, members of an organization will sponsor another person to join the organization, because they feel that the person that they are sponsoring is worthy.

I suggest that we apply this criteria to the thoughts, emotions, and actions that we bring to life. In other words, we respond by choosing or sponsoring a way of being that we feel would be valuable to those involved, and/or that we consider to be worthy of our recommendation.

In my “Life from the Top of the Mind” book and seminars, I like to support people in finding the way of being that is worth sponsoring by asking the question, “What would I recommend to someone I love?” This question, and the concept of choosing a more purposeful way of being ensures we are accessing the clear, confident, creative part of the brain (the neocortex) and heightens the potential that our choice will help us deal successfully with whatever situation is at hand.

The alternative is to continue reacting to life in old, less than purposeful ways, which will have us coming from the lower 20% of the brain and minimize the potential that what we think, feel, and do will be effective. Therefore, if effectiveness is something you strive for… if accessing the clear, confident, creative part of you is important to you, and if this is what you would recommend to someone you love, I suggest you begin to practice responding versus reacting.

Of course, this is what my “Life from the Top of the Mind” system is designed to teach. Therefore, if you would like everyone in your family and/or organization to access their best by responding versus reacting, I suggest that you give me a shout. After all, it’s what and who we “sponsor” that speaks volumes about who we are, and what will determine our potential to create a more purposeful life.