“Significance isn’t about the number of friends we have on Facebook, but about how much we would be missed if we were gone.”

~ Adapted from Seth Godin

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Do I Matter?

This week I’m drawing my inspiration for my weekly quote and video from two people whose work I have admired for quite some time: Brendon Burchard and Seth Godin. Brendon came up with a set of questions after he nearly died in a car accident in his early 20’s that helped shape the rest of his life, and have inspired others to reexamine their lives as well. He suggests that when we get to the end of a day or the end of our lives we should ask, “Did I live, did I love, and did I matter?”

While Seth Godin (in his book, The Icarus Deception) takes a bit of a different approach to significance. He says: “I don’t care how many friends you have on Facebook or how many followers you have on Twitter. Those may not be actual friends or true followers. I care about how much people will miss you if you’re not back here again tomorrow.”

What both of these authors are talking about here is “significance,” and I think it’s fair to say that most of us would want to live meaningful lives versus being insignificant. If this is true, then I think we need to ensure that we are doing more than just existing, or going through the motions. Of course, this is easier said than done, because life has a tendency to lead us toward patterns of behavior that can seem insignificant. We get up, go to work or school, do what we are supposed to do, and come home. And, if we are not careful (or purposeful) this can become a routine that can certainly have us feeling insignificant at times… probably not what we would recommend to those we love.

Now, to be clear, “being significant” doesn’t mean we have to be leading a movement or even effecting large groups of people. It does mean, however, that we are making purposeful choices that make a difference in our lives, the lives of those with whom we are close, and those with whom we come in contact. This could be as simple as a smile, a compliment, a kind word, a helping hand, or as involved as helping someone through a crisis, or being there for them when they are having a hard time being there for themselves.

I’m thinking that’s what Brendon means when he asks, “Did I live?” In other words, as I look back on today, did I live life to the fullest? Did I take advantage of the opportunities that were presented to me? And, did I love? Did I share my love with the people I met, and the people I love? Also, of course, did I matter? Did I make a difference? Did the people I encountered today feel better, and/or learn something meaningful, were their lives enriched as a result interacting with me? Or, as Seth Godin would ask, would I be missed if I were not in their lives tomorrow?

If we can answer yes to these questions on a regular basis, then we can find comfort and satisfaction in the knowledge that we are not just going through the motions, but are indeed living a life of significance, and that we do matter. This will pay off not only in how we are appreciated by others, but by how we define ourselves, feel about ourselves, and experience life. Not a bad legacy to leave to those whose life we touch, don’t you think?

Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill