Being Thrown Off Center

This is a quote/question that I have always found very helpful for those of us wanting to have more influence in the life we create. In other words, most people can relate to being “thrown off center” by some person or situation. This may be something who has taken us by surprise and triggered a negative reaction, or someone who has said something that bothered us. Plus, there is the opposite desire of being “centered” or dealing with life from a “centered” perspective which most people equate with being more purposeful and effective.

One way to think of this is to imagine a martial artist preparing to deal with someone who wishes him harm. Chance are, rather than being frightened or worried, the marital artist is centered in his body and his mind, which allows him to respond to the threat in a way that makes him the most influential person in the interaction.

Similarly, if we want to be influential in both our lives and the lives of others, we will want to be centered as well, and I believe that this week’s quote/question can help. For example, just think of a time in the past when you were feeling angry, stressed, anxious, or worried. What if you were to ask yourself, “Does this thought or emotion take me closer to my center or farther away?” Can you see how you would immediately gain clarity with respect to how you were thinking and feeling?

Plus, once we have determined that how we are thinking and/or feeling is taking us farther away from our center, we can use the same question to identify what we want to change. In other words, we could then ask, “Okay, if I were to choose a thought or emotion that would take me closer to my center in this situation, what would it be?” Chances are, words like, clear, confident, and creative might come to mind. We could then go about imagining how we would be responding to the situation from this clear, confident, creative perspective, and notice how this changes how we are thinking and feeling about life, in general.

What we have just done is to go through the first model in my “Life from the Top of the Mind” philosophy which is designed to help us shift from the lower reactive brain (the brainstem) to the upper, more purposeful brain (the neocortex). This shift not only enhances our ability to be more influential in our life and the lives of others, it actually changes the chemical make-up of our brain and body from adrenaline and cortisol to serotonin and endorphins and demonstrates the power of questions.

I call questions, “the search engine for the brain” because they can determine whether we go to the brainstem or the neocortex. In fact, in my books and seminars, I suggest we change BS, or brainstem questions (such as, “What is wrong with these people?” or, “What is wrong with me?”) to neocortex questions such as, “If I were choosing a thought or emotion that takes me closer to my center, what would that be?”