“We can’t have constructive conversations with others while having destructive conversations with ourselves.”

~ Bill Crawford

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Want To Have More Constructive Conversations?

I know everyone wants to engage others in a way that results in increased understanding and solutions versus arguments or debates about “who’s right.” And yet, I have found that there is one prerequisite to these sorts of productive conversations that many people are unaware of, i.e. the kind of conversations we are having with ourselves.

In other words, when the things we are saying to ourselves are negative, (such as: Who do you think you are? What if they discovered that you don’t know what you are talking about? You never were good at winning arguments, etc.) then we are limited in our ability to to have positive, or constructive conversations with others.

Why? Because negative self-talk throws us into the negative brain, or the part of the brain designed to allow us to deal with threatening situations. This is a reactive brain that doesn’t think rationally and therefore we find ourselves saying things that either don’t help or potentially make the situation worse.

Plus, we really can’t process what another is saying successfully from this lower brain, and therefore, the potential to have a constructive conversation (or construct a solution that everyone can support) is severely compromised.

Therefore, if we truly want to have constructive conversations with others, we must be coming from the part of the brain that is constructive versus destructive, or what I call “The Top of the Mind.” When we do, we can access our clarity, confidence, and creativity and actually become curious about what is important to others. This allows us to blend what is important to them with what is important to us, and create conversations that construct solutions.

If you and/or your organization would like to learn how to access these abilities and this powerful part of the brain, feel free to contact me. My goal is to help everyone create more constructive conversations with others, and with themselves.

Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill