“Freedom is the ability to take risks without the prospect of shame.”

~ Adapted from Seth Godin

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Freedom, Risk, & Shame

Once again, I’m drawing from Seth Godin’s excellent book, “The Icarus Deception” for my inspiration. In this book, Mr. Godin does a wonderful job of taking the concept of art and making it about who we are and what we do. In fact, he calls “art” anything we do with passion and purpose,” and encourages his readers to make their work “art,” and their life a reflection of this art.

Further, he speaks to a perspective that often gets in the way of us fully committing to what we do, which is the fear that if we take a risk and it doesn’t work out, then this means something negative about us… something we should be ashamed of, and thus something we should avoid at all costs.

That’s why I took his quote, “Art is vulnerability without the prospect of shame,” and rewrote it so that is says, “Freedom is the ability to take risks without the prospect of shame.” So, let’s break this down and see how this might be valuable to you and those you care for.

When I talk about “freedom,” I mean freedom from some things and freedom to do others. In other words, freedom from anxiety, self-doubt, fear of failure, and worry. And, the freedom to take risks, to try something without knowing whether it will work, to commit fully to a way of being that brings your best to life and is not encumbered by the prospect of shame.

For those who follow my “Life from the Top of the Mind” philosophy, you know that anxiety, fear, self-doubt, and shame all come from the lower 20% of the brain, or the brainstem. This is the part of the brain responsible for fight-or-flight, and can serve us very well when our physical well-being is threatened, while the qualities and characteristics that support our success (clarity, confidence, creativity, compassion, etc.) come from the neocortex, or the upper 80% of the brain.

In other words, while shame and fear of failure may be a part of how we have learned to protect ourselves from criticism, they are not qualities that allow us to access our best because they are coming from the limited, reactive brain versus the unlimited purposeful brain.

Therefore, if you have decided that fear of criticism is not the energy you want to trust to guide your thoughts, emotions, or behaviors, I suggest we embrace Seth Godin’s concept and create a willingness to take risks without the prospect of shame. To do this, we must recognize that when we take risks (share our ideas with others, persevere even in the face of the naysayers, commit to acting on what we believe is right, even though it may not be “popular”) we may be successful and we may not.

However, if we are willing to practice doing this without the prospect of shame (or at least decide to reject any shame that comes up as a fear-based reaction from the lower brain) then we can see any result (successful or not) as “good information,” and allow it to inform what we will do differently in the future. In this way, our “mistakes” become “mis/takes” or “actions that we took that missed the mark”, versus something we should be ashamed of, and frees us to continue to trust our best instincts and thoughts in a way we would recommend to those we love.

Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill